Funny from The Onion

The Onion

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Al Gore will p*ss his pants

I am very concerned about the environment. So much so that I feel guilty about everything. I feel guilty when I brush my teeth. I feel guilty if I take a bath. I feel guilty if I can’t recycle something. I worry about everything. So I show Mr. Al Gore’s fabulous doc, “An Inconvenient Truth” to my students, hoping to get them concerned and active. Oddly, they seem more concerned about their social lives. Anyway, one lovely young lady actually referenced the film in her final essay.

In his movie “an incontinent truth” Al says that …

Oy. One of the best “typos” ever.

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The evil that teachers do

I like to teach a particular class — which alas I cannot name here. Let’s call it Twilight and Ghosts for fun. In this class, we read a lot of Gothic texts and we analyse the political and religious subtexts. I have a lot of religious students and many of them do not appreciate any kind of criticism — nay, any EXAMINATION of religion or God — and can get a bit fiery about it.

However, I never ever expected this email to surface. Just for some background, the young lady who sent the email dropped the class in the first week, after my basic introduction class. I never received this missive. She sent it to the entire class, and one of the kids put it in his class journal. When I was correcting the journals, I came across this nugget which I now share with you:

Hey everyone! “Censored” here. I just wanted to say that the teacher seems nice and everything. But she wants to sleep over at the school and look for the ghost with ninja boards and everything. [Ed. I think she meant ouija.] So i am droping her class and i suggest you guys do it to cause she is opeing you up for demonic posession and you dont wanna go to hell. DROP THIS CLASS FOR YER SOUL!

Wow! I never knew I had that kind of power. I felt kinda flattered. Then just a bit disgruntled. Religious freaks again ruining my good times and slumber party.

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Students talking to teachers

I teach college in Montreal, Quebec. I get some pretty funny emails, letters, notes, texts, etc from my students, past and present. i am posting them here now because … well… they are just too good not to share. And by good, I mean hilarious.

And off we go.

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